either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have already put on my inside pants.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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