its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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