You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
