so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Houston, we have a squirter
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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