I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
