So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
