He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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