I can tuck mytits in my pants
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
