Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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