YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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