Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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