It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
