If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
