i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
