How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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