porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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