I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you had me at cake vodka
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
