The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
