i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
