So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
