Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
