This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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