I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
