shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
