He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
