Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
