Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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