You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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