you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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