Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Enjoy the penises
I am available for nakedness
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize