So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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