I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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