seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
