Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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