So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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