Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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