see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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