his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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