Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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