Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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