I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
