I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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