As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
