So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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