Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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