I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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