real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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