i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
