its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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