She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
