I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
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Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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