Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
