I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize