I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
