My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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