Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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