just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
