he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
