My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize