I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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