8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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