Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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