I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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